Counting My Blessings

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I don’t consider myself old, but do any of us really?  When someone asks me my age, I have to think about it for a minute – I really can’t believe that I am 44.  I don’t really feel it and from what others say – I don’t think I look it – but don’t get me wrong I know I am getting older – the wrinkles that show me how much I have enjoyed life, to the changes in my shape occurring, well – everywhere.  Getting old is part of life or nature, but I do things that I hope will give me the best life I can have for as long as I can have it – eat right, exercise, don’t get too stressed out, laugh, have fun and surround myself with positive people who care and love me and want the best for me.  I have to say having a daughter helps tremendously – she teaches me a life lesson almost daily, truly loves me and reminds me to have fun and enjoy my  life!  I am blessed in so many ways and I am truly grateful.  All of this was made even clearer to me in the past couple of days.

A friend that I have known for over 15 years had a stroke this past Thursday night, she is 44 years old and has a child a year older than Stella.  We met when we both lived in San Francisco and have remained friends.  We both moved but always stayed in touch.  She moved to the East Coast.  After my divorce we were talking on the phone when I was trying to decide where I was going to move to and she said that the duplex next to her was becoming available – a month later I was living in Tarrytown.  They bought a house on the same street and we live 5 houses apart.  Her son, Stella and Mateo another neighbor play together all the time and we have pulled together to do whatever is needed.  Her husband does not drive.

Since I was given the news I have been in a daze, a fog – driving somewhere and then not even realizing.  Things really can change in an instant!  Luckily she was at home and so was her husband and son – when she said that her left side of her face was numb and then her left side – her husband called 911 with her saying why are you calling the ambulance everything is going to be fine – but it was not and is not fine.

Up until Saturday night none of us were sure of what was going to happen.  They had ruled out an aneurysm. but they still were not sure if she had had a stroke – there was a clot in her brain and there was bleeding – it was a wait and see game – she was moved into ICU. She is paralyzed on her left side.

I went to visit her – afraid of seeing her, of my reaction, of my emotions, how would she be, how would she look, would she remember me, would she make sense, how would she be?!  I walked into the room, her husband was with her and she was laying on the bed, eyes closed.  She opened her eyes looked at me and offered her hand – I took it, tears filled my eyes and we  just looked at each other – we didn’t have to say anything – the ice had been broken.  I stayed for about an hour – we joked, she was there and not there.  I asked if a doctor had been in and her husband said he had not spoken to a doctor since the previous morning and had not been given the results of the last scan.  I walked over to the nurse and told her this and asked her to get a doctor in to speak with him – he was thankful.  He told me he had not even thought about doing that – he is in shock.  The doctor did not come while I was there, but I had to leave.

I have been picking her husband up each night and bringing him home, when the call came Saturday night – I was out the door in less than 5 minutes.  I picked him up and he got into the car and told me that the doctor had come and spoken to him and that it was all good news and then he cried – I pulled the car over and just wrapped my arms around him and just let him feel and be with his feelings.  It was a stroke, the blood is being absorbed back into the brain and she should have her speech fully back in 2 – 3 days and then she will be assessed for physical therapy.  It will be a long recovery, but she is expected to make a full recovery!!

I feel so blessed and am very conscious of all the ways.  Stella has been hugging me more than usual and I am grateful for those too.  As I told Stella, when things like this happen that is when your friends and family are here and do whatever needs to be done to help the individual, family through it all.  Count all your blessings and send a prayer for my friend, Donnette and her family – I thank you!

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